So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
