Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
