Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
