The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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