FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
