Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
