it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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