be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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