I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
