i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i now understand why vodka
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
