I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
