yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
