I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
