they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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