i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
