I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
