I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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