we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
