stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
