Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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