Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
