She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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