batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
