I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh god it's open bar.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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