I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
