the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
