My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
