I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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