if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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