You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
