In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
