I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
