Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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