Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Randomize
