idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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