No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
