i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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