i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
