i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
