The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Welp...herpes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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