Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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