ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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