I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
