Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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