i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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