I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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