My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
