Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
