dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
