im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
