Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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