You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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