STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
