I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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